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How to become a Proverbs 31 woman

proverbs 31 woman - feature 2

The Proverbs 31 woman is a virtuous and capable woman who is more valuable than rubies and is worthy of praise.

Proverbs 31 starts with a message of the mother of King Lemuel admonishing him to keep away from women who ruin kings.

The chapter then continues with twenty-two verses describing a woman in contrast to the women he should avoid.

The descriptions tell King Lemuel and any man the characteristics they should look for in a woman.

How can a woman be worthy of praise?

Verse 10 describes her as virtuous and capable, while the following verses show in detail how one can be both.

Proverbs 31 woman is virtuous.

How can a woman be virtuous?

The first mentioned is by being trustworthy. 

The trustworthy wife doesn’t give her husband any reason to doubt her faithfulness to him and the marriage vow.

The trustworthy wife also shows dependability with the affairs in the home; she exhibits capability in managing the house, the family, and the finances.  

Her husband trusts her ….  v. 11

Next is by being supportive to the husband. The wife lets the husband do what he is passionate about and do and become his best. She also adds well to the reputation of her husband.

… she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.  vv. 11-12

Because the wife is trustworthy and supportive, the husband can serve in leadership.

Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. v. 23

The third is being generous.  This is made possible through having heart to help and a good attitude toward possessions. 

She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.  v. 20

The fourth is being wise and kind with words.  She chooses carefully what words to use in dealing with others especially in the household—those in lowly positions such as the servants.

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. v. 26

The fifth is being God-fearing.  This was mentioned last which suggests this is the most important and is the totality of a Proverbs 31 woman worthy of praise.  Being virtuous and capable result from fearing the Lord because to fear the Lord is to seek and obey His will. 

… a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. v. 30

The Proverbs 31 woman is capable.

proverbs 31 woman - skill

How can a woman be capable?

The following are the characteristics we can develop to become capable women.

Resourceful 

She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. v. 13

Provider

She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. v. 14




Disciplined

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household … v. 15

Organized

… and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. v. 15

Wise with money

She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;   vv. 16, 18
She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. v. 24

Skilled

She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell …. v. 24

Physically fit

She makes herself strong physically to be able to fulfill her duties.

She is energetic and strong …. v. 17

Diligent

… a hard worker… her lamp burns late into the night.  Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.  vv. 17, 18, 19
… suffers nothing from laziness. v. 27

Courageous and prepared for adversities

She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. … She makes her own bedspreads.   v. 21-22
… and she laughs without fear of the future.  v. 25

Responsible

She carefully watches everything in her household …. v. 27

Beautiful inside and out

She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.  v. 22
She is clothed with strength and dignity ….v. 25
proverbs 31 woman - beauty

The Proverbs 31 woman is highly praised.

As a result, her children, husband, and the community reward her of praise. 

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her.
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
vv. 28-31

Is Proverbs 31 only for the married woman?

Is Proverbs 31 only for the married woman?  

Surely not.  Becoming a Proverbs 31 woman starts from childhood and singlehood.  In fact, it can be said that it takes a long time to develop even just one characteristic. We may not have yet all the qualities written here, but the most important is our attitude and desire to develop each quality.  The best starting point is to fear the Lord.  As I’ve suggested in my post titled “What to do if you’re loveless,” the single person should try to be virtuous and capable.

Is Proverbs 31 only for the woman? 

Definitely not.  Remember, the chapter starts with instruction to King Lemuel to find a virtuous, capable, and God-fearing woman instead of one who would ruin him. To do so, he must equally be virtuous, capable, and a God-fearing man supporting his wife or any woman around him to be the woman Proverbs 31 describes. Here’s how to be a Proverbs 31 man.   

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